[Music] hi scholars Mrs mask here i love to write and narratives are one of my favorite types of writing it's important as writers that we review and revise our writing so we continue to improve and make it the best final product we can narrative text has many different elements or parts i've selected four of those to focus on with you today this will help me identify where I want to make revisions in my writing let's take a look at the elements we've selected interesting beginning do I get the reader attention right away natural flow of sequence of events are my events in an order that makes sense to readers descriptive details do I describe the events people and other things clearly so readers can picture them in their heads conclusions that follow sequence of events does my conclusion or ending make sense and follow what happened after reading my narrative we will use this list to guide my revisions lisa's native yard revolution a few years ago Lisa wanted to do something different with her small front yard she lived in Bay City where most of the space was covered with concrete buildings and streets her neighbors had regular lawns with short grass hedges and flowers from the garden store lisa wanted something more natural and better for the environment after looking online she learned about using native plants in her yard native plants are plants that grow naturally in an area at first the idea seemed odd she was used to seeing perfect gardens and magazines with plants from other places but the more she learned the more she liked the idea native plants were easier to care for they attracted birds and butterflies and were made for the local weather one Saturday Lisa went to a nursery that sold native plants the owner showed her tall grasses that waved in the wind wild flowers with soft purple and yellow blooms and bushes with berries that birds would eat lisa felt excited to try something new and bought a few plants purple cone flowers blackeyed susans and native grasses as she planted them in her yard her neighbors watched with curiosity "why not just plant roses or patunias like everyone else?"

one of them asked lisa explained that native plants like purple cone flowers and blackeyed susans didn't need as much water as roses and patunias and wouldn't need chemicals to grow she told her neighbors how their deep roots would help prevent the ground from washing away when it rained which is important because their neighborhood often flooded after a few weeks Lisa's yard was completely transformed the native plants started to bloom and her yard became a little patch of nature in the middle of the city she loved watching butterflies visit the flowers and birds stop by to eat berries from the bushes her yard felt peaceful and different from the structured fast look of the city before long Lisa's neighbors began to ask more questions one by one they became interested in native plants too lisa even held a small workshop in her yard showing them how easy it is to plant and take care of them soon the whole neighborhood started to change neat lawns and storebought flowers were replaced by colorful lively landscapes full of native plants lisa's idea turned into a big neighborhood project the area looked better and healthier people noticed fewer floods after rain and the air seemed fresher with all the plants cleaning it native plants weren't just for the wild they found a perfect place in the city lisa realized using native plants was more than just having a pretty yard it was about helping the environment and making a small positive change and that change spread further than she ever imagined now let's use the chart to find examples of each of the four elements I'm focusing on today for my revision do I have an interesting beginning yes or no i think this introduces the story well but is it interesting [Music] maybe I wonder if I could start with a question that might get the reader more excited i'm going to mark no and go back and see what I can add is there a natural flow of sequence of events well it starts with Lisa evaluating her yard considering what to buy shopping planting native plants and then working with her neighbors to do the same i'd say yes to this are there descriptive details well neat lawns colorful lively landscapes wild flowers with soft yellow and purple blooms and bushes with berries are descriptive but I do think I could do better by adding sensory language words that appeal to the five senses: sight sound smell taste and touch i mark this a no and finally does my conclusion follow the sequence of events i'm going to say that this conclusion follows the sequence of events since it includes a little bit about the beginning the middle and the end of the writing wow I did a great job but this writing will be even better after I add to my introduction and use sensory language remember when you write it's important to revise so our writing is clear and interesting for the reader there's always room to grow as a writer thank you for joining us if you want more fun ways to practice literacy skills don't forget to subscribe to the Michigan Learning channel and be sure to check the description below for links to activity guides resources and more [Music] [Applause]