- How would you describe Urban Triage?

- Carola A. Gaines: It's the source of finding your being, not just as what you, you know, as a mother, as a wife, but, who are you?

And that is what Urban Triage, to me, is about: transforming lives of our Black community.

[upbeat, hopeful rhythmic singing] [birds singing] ♪ ♪ - Brandi Grayson: Urban Triage is birthed from my own personal experience in trauma-- being homeless, sleeping on the concrete, having a kid at a young age, having parents and a mother who was crack-addicted.

Having abusive grandparents and family members-- that feels safe.

Destruction feels safe.

So, Urban Triage is built on all of that experience, right?

And my own personal journey of navigating through this complex of inferiority that a lot of Black people have.

I would say most Black people have.

When you can understand why you act the way you act and understand how our brains are programmed to be and conditioned to be, then it becomes less about you, and more about the context, right?

The more I can detach and let go of all the physical and sexual abuse-- I was born into it, but it was not about me.

So, when I learnt how to do that or had that epiphany-- not even learn-- It's just like 'aha moment.'

Some things just come to you.

You're like, "Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!!!"

So, I took all of that and all that experience and built out Supporting Healthy Black Families curriculum.

My desire and vision to support Black families in navigating systems, in navigating institutions.

And, at the same time, understanding how we show up and being accountable for how we show up.

But not, like, being attached to how we showin' up.

Just like being, right?

It's okay who you are; it's okay!

Like, it's okay that you a mess.

It's okay that you don't have it all together.

It's okay that you're angry.

It's okay that, you know, that you have these inner stories.

Like, accepting all of those parts of us, and at the same time, being accountable for those parts of us.

And I think, like, in our society, we're taught that those two things can't exist at the same time.

That you can't be okay with who you are and be accountable at the same time.

But you can!

You can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Girl, you a mess," right?

"And it's okay.

"It's okay that you a mess.

"It's okay you ain't got it figured out.

"It's okay that life is what it is.

"It's okay that you're hurt from all the crap that had nothing to do with you, right?"

I believe that in order to support those who are most vulnerable and disproportionately impacted by racism is that we gotta lead them on their own journey of 'aha moments.'

They gotta get it.

Like, they have to have that mental thing that clicks for them, right?

Because, if not, then we keep just living in Groundhog Day.

We keep living in the past, bringing it to our now, projecting it to the Future.

And then, we get locked in into this cycle, and that's-- and that-- And I learnt that from my experience of just existing.

How do you become accountable for you right now?

How do you look at your life and say, "I'm in a toxic relationship that's not working?

"I have not been showing up for myself.

"I'm living an unhealthy life," right?

And be accountable for those parts, right.

And when people start taking action in their life, it shows up everywhere in their life.

So, we have people who come through our work groups that's left abusive marriages, that have went to therapy with their kids, and are more present, learnt to listen to their kids, and quit a job and started businesses, and start believing in their self.

And these are people that would never even think that they would ever do such a thing.

Your past, your history, it's not your story, you know.

It's not it; it's just a part of it.

And we get to use the experience, our experiences, to cause and create whatever we want, you know.

Like, we really do get to live a good life.

No matter what's on the movies, what's on the news, we get to live a good life, and you get to live it by choosing it.

And you can choose it, and then, align to it.

I deserve the world.

I'm worthy of this.

I'm worthy of goodness.

I'm worthy of a good life.

Like, that is everything.

So, my message to every person who sees this is be true to you.

Keep going, regardless of what you're facing or what's in front of you, know that it is you that causes and creates.

It is your thoughts; it is your belief.

So, in a face of adversity, challenges, obstacles, naysayers, just keep going.

You gotta keep going.

[peaceful melody]